


Some Lies Could Help

by JoyHale



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bottom Jared, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Hurt/Comfort, J2, M/M, Protective Jensen Ackles, Slash, Top Jensen, Top Jensen Ackles, non-au, season 4
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-17 11:02:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11274120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoyHale/pseuds/JoyHale
Summary: What the fuck happend? Jensen couldn't remember.Jensen waked up in his bed with horrible hangover... and with his half-naked best friend. He didn't remember a single shit, and there was something Jared wasn't telling him. When things started being crappy, the boys have only each other to hold on, and it could end up like a disaster, escpecially when Jensen find out about Jared state.





	1. 1. Really bad day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys... So, i wanted to write some j2 and this just kinda came to me. The scene in 4e20 was really heartbreaking for me (well, considering what happend next...) so I assumed that Jensen could felt the same way.
> 
> And also, I'm still new in writing in English, if so, please excuse some mistakes.

Jensen had a problem.

Like, yeah, everybody on the damn Earth have some problem. Actually he shouldn't be complaining at all - nobody from his family was dying, he hadn't have some fatal illness and he wasn't starving like kids in Africa. His problem was literally nothing in compare to these or others, but right now, it was ruining his life. He didn't have a fucking clue how to deal with it, because he was meeting his problem every day.

Yeah, his problem was a person. Actually, person very close to him; his best friend.

If you didn't get it yet, it was Jared.

It all started months ago, when they were filming the last few episodes of season 4.

***

They just finished the last scene from episode 20, and they were supposed to end and go home. Finally. It was almost nine; they had to film one scene over and over again - the one in panic room, when Sam had been haluciating - and it was all because of Jensen. He didn't do it on porpouse, he just... _can't_.

He told everyone that he had a bad night, but it wasn't because of that. No, Jensen...

Jensen fucking _hated_ this scene.

He actually hated the whole episode - hell, he hated season 4 in general. Why? Because Sam and Dean were fighting and he hated it, because he has to be mean to Jared. Of course he knew that they was just acting, that when the scene were over, Jared'll smile and all pain'll disappear from his face; he'll put his arm around Jensen's shoulder and told him something like _Man, that was a great scene_. He knew it. But during the shots, Jared just looked so sad and broken, that Jensen wanted to hug him and tell him, that everything will be fine. Instead of this, he had to put on his Dean-face and be like 'son of a bitch' all the time. So yeah, he hated it.

But today was the worst of all crappy days. Jared was lying on the bed, and he just looked like... like he was about to break into sobs, tears in his eyes and Jensen just sit there, his serious face on and he had to say to him calmly that he is notning to him. Jensen was - well, he thinks he was - pretty good actor, but this was really hard. And Jared of course was a good actor, but he never looked so broken as Sam Winchester in his life. It was like... like Jared was broken too, not just the character.

So, considering the circumstances, Jensen allowed himself to drink in work - what he never did before. So, at the end of the day, you could say, that he was wasted.

He was just about to disappear in his trailer to get his stuff - and maybe vomit, but he wasn't sure. He looked around, but Jared wasn't anywhere - it was weird, because they waited for each other every time and went to their trailers together. It was some kind of thier ritual, which they built over the years - when they did that, Jensen knew that day was over and he can go home. Maybe Jared was in hurry, maybe he had -

Oh. Probably he went to date with Gen - great, thinking about Genevieve didn't really lifted his mood. He was so not gonna think about her. But he already did.

***

You know, it wasn't like Jensen hated Genevive... Well, maybe not from the start. He knew that Jared had right to date anyone he wanted to date and it surelly wasn't Jensen's buisness - until it was.

It was the other day, about week or something after Jared and Genevieve started publicly dating. It was a lunch break and Jensen went to... Well, do his buisness in the toiletts, when he heard Gen talking. She was literally hidden in cornen, in hallway to men's room, what was weird, but Jensen really didn't mind. He wanted to say hello to her, but then he realised that she was on her phone. He just shrugged, and was going to continue in his way, when he heard something Gen just said.

"Yeah... I'm telling you, it's like living dream!" Genevieve giggled. "He is rich, he is an actor in his own show... yeah, there is Jensen, but Jared is clearly the talented one." Jensen was just about to say _Excuse me?_ , when she countinued.

"I know, but who needs feelings, when he got money?" Jensen froze in place. What did she say?

"I mean, he is really into me... I think it won't take long and he'll ask me for my hand." Are you fucking serious? You are dating for week! Jensen thought, but he was completely confused. It was making no sense. Gen was sweet girl, kind and Jared kept talking about her over and over again - about how is she like his other half, like she is everything he ever looked for. And this Gen was supposed to be some cheap bitch?

He didn't know how long he was standing there, but meanwhile Genevieve hang out and now she was stading in front of him. "Jensen!" she shouted. "Oh, you scared the crap out of me!"

"Uh... I'm sorry," Jensen managed to say, still dumbfounded. "What are you doing here?" he asked. It was a regular question, so in contrast with this... weird, messed up situation. "What I'm doing here?" she repeated; Jensen could literally see wheels whirled around in his brain as she was trying to came up with reasonable explanation. He also could see little bulb lit up, when her face cleared and he smiled a little.

"Um, you know, my mom had a heartattack and I was just talking with her doctor, you know, when I can't come to visit her while we're filming." _Oh, really? If it was your mom who were you talking to, she is apparently a bitch_. Instead of this, he put on his best sympatisch and worried face and said: "I'm so sorry to hear that. Hope she'll be fine."

Genevive smiled. "Thanks, Jensen. You're really a sweetheart." She waved for goodbye and walked away, apparently trying to disapper as fast as she can. Jensen just stood there, processed the information. So, Genevieve was decieving Jared, his best friend, the kindnest guy on Earth, so she can benefit from his money and status.

He was so not gonna let this happend.

He could hold it only until tomorrow, when he went to Jared's trailer at the morning and flipped it all to Jared. Well, not all of that, he just tried to convince him that Genevieve is maybe not so good person as he thought. The fight they had after that was horrible, Jared was yelling at Jensen nasty things, and Jensen was yelling at Jared how blind is he and that Gen is a bitch. It ended up Jensen fired away from trailer, Jared shouting after him.

It took few days until things calmed down, they both apologized to each other; Jensen said he heard something that wasn't true and he misunderstood it, and Jared accept it with bear hug. They both hated fighting with each other, so they just forget about it and deleted it from their minds.

***

And now, Jared was probably buying little-miracle-fucking-awesome-Gen some new dress, or car, or apartment, or maybe a land on the Moon. Jensen didn't know how to saved his friend from self-distruction. When he tried to bring it up few weeks ago, Genevieve became suspicious about him, so she kept extra-close eye on him and whenever he was alone with Jared, she joined them with doll smile on her face.

Jensen wanted to punch her. Hard.

He sighned and started his way to trailer alone. It was weird, without Jared - like something was wrong, mising. Hell, he didn't know that he cared about that ritual so much until now. Gen taked Jared from him and now Jensen felt that he lost him completely.

"Jen?" Jensen turned around and suddenly, he was facing Jared - well, not literally facing, 'cause Jared's face was somewhere over his head, but you get the point. He felt relief that he didn't go to date with that bitch, bu tried to cover it.

"Jay? Hey, I was thinking you left alredy." Now Jensen felt bad that he broke the ritual when Jared was still there, probably looking for him. "No, I was changing my clothes," Jared said and smiled. But Jensen noticed, when he looked very closely, that Jared was hiding something. He was tensed, like something from Sam Winchester staid in him, making him look vulnerable.

"Hey, I was wondering... Wouldja come with me to a bar? I think I need a drink." Jensen heard him, but didn't answer. Instead he was speculating what the hell was wrong with Jared - oh, and he was drunk, and when he was drunk, it was really hard to him to stay focuss.

"Jen?" Jared sounded worried and that dragged Jensen back to present. "What? Yeah, yeah of course, I could use one too," he answered finally, and started walking towards exit. "Wanna drive?" Jensen asked, because he really wasn't in state to drive.

"Or Clif can drive us, like every day," said Jared slowly, studying Jensen properly. "Are you feeling okay, Jensen?" he asked. Jensen didn't answered, just shooked his head and chuckled. "Yeah that's right, we have a driver! I almost forgot."

"I noticed." Jared sounded suspicious. Did he find out that Jensen was drunk? No, he never drank in work so Jared wouldn't even consider the option. So, he just gotta stop being so obvious and try to act casually. But it didn't really worked out. Until they hit the parking lot, he completly forgot what he wanted to do and just commented everything and everyone he saw very loud (Dude, do you see that make-up lady? I could clearly remember her year ago, she is so much fat!). Probably the whole crew'll hate him tomorrow.

Did he mention that he can't stay focus while is he drunk?

"Jen, are you okay?" Jared asked again, when they were in the backseat. Jensen just smiled and said, poitning to picture which Clif always had in the car: "Hey Clif, why do you have this ugly chick here? Just say if you need something man, I have a lot Playboys back home..."

He could hear Jared sigh, and Clif answered, voice calm: "That's my wife."

"Oh man, I'm so sorry... But why did you married her? I mean, have you seened her face?" Jensen could tell that the atmosphere in the car hit the freezing-point, but wasn't sure why. Did he say something.

"Okay Clif, just drop next to the nearest bar, please. I think he need fresh air," Jared stepped in it, and when Jensen started to protest, he punch him. "Ouch," mumbled Jensen offended, but he kept his mouth shut for the nest few minutes until they hit the bar. Jensen really didn't care about name, but there was a neon leprechaun and that mad Jensen smile.

"Dude, what the fuck?" stated Jared immediatly when Clif was on the road again. "What?" Jensen asked innocently, still watching the leprechaun. He was taking off and back his hat, and Jensen just had to keep stare at him.

"Why did you say all that shit about Clif's wife? I know that she is not exactly the Queen of Beauty, but-" Jensen just shrugged. "It was true."

"Jensen, you can't just said this to people! And what about that make-up lady? You maked her cry." Jared sighed. "Jen, what's wrong with you today? All day you was like walking bag of bad mood and now you are... Are you even listening me?"

Jared rolled his eyes. "You are drunk, aren't you?" Jensen was able to stop himself from saying _Bingo, Sherlock!_ and just waved at Jared as he went to the bar.

"C'mon Jay, we need some fun!"

***

When he waked up next morning, half-naked in his bed, with _also_ half-naked Jared _also_ in his bed, this was the last sentence he remembered.

What the fuck happend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't blame me for doing this from Genevieve - I don't have anything against her, just it fits in, you know? :D


	2. 2. Unspoken feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, thanks so much for kudos and comments! I love you <3
> 
> Hope you'll like it!

"So you're saying that you don't remember  _anything_?" Jared said, disbilief and something else in his vocie, but Jensen couldn't place that  _something_.

When Jensen woke up, he was lilerally terrified. He never had so bad hangover that he couldn't remember absolutely anything. And then there was half-naked Jared in his bed, which was almost as terrifing as missing memories. Jared was dressed now, sitting on Jensen's bed and seemed to be way better than Jensen. 

"Yeah," sighed Jensen, head in his hands. His head hurt, everything was spinning and he has, well, terrible hangover. But what was scaring him the most - he couldn't remember what the fuck happend last night. He could tell that he was wasted before they stepped into the bar, but wasn't really sure why. They were filming episode 20 he guessed...  _Oh_. The sad-Jared thing. Well, he knew now why he drank before, but it wasn't explaining the night.

"Man, that-" He could feel vomit in his throat, so he interrupted Jared and shot out to the bathroom. "Jen?!" yelled Jared and was kneeling next to him in second. "What's wrong?"Jensen couldn't aswer, because he was too bussy with vomiting. He was huging the toilet bowl like old friend, and even in his state he still felt embarrassed that Jared saw him puking. But Jared wasn't disgusted, just slightly stroking Jensen's back. When it was over, Jared carried him carefully to the bed; Jensen felt too weak to protest.

"Jen, how much did you drink yesterday?" asked Jared seriously. "How much did  _you_ drink? Look like you drank milk instead of alcohol," Jensen groaned as he sat up. 

"I just don't drink much in general, you know that. Now tell me; how much did you drink?"

"I told you that I don't remember-" 

"I mean before we went to that bar," Jared interrupted him and Jensen froze. "How-?" 

"How I know?" Jared chocked. "Well, you could say that you were offending everyone and... nah, I just can recognize it when you're drunk." Jensen felt embarrassed. He knew that when he was drunk, he couldn't control himself and was saying whatever shit just came to his mind. But he never drank at work, so he never was rude at anyone from the crew. Shit, they're probably hating him now.

"Jen..." Jensen looked up when he heard Jared's worried voice. "How much did you drink? I need to know. If it was more than a bottle, you could have an alcohol poisoning right now-" Jensen jerked his head towards Jared. "What? No! Jay, what are you thinking abot me? I had a few shots, max five!" Did Jared really think that he was a drunk? Hell, he is not going to suggest AA, is he? 

"I'm just worried," Jared defenden himself. "You were so weird yesterday... During the shots and after-" Jared shut his mouth before he could say something he obviously didn't want to come to light. "What? Jay, do you remember last night?" Jared told him that he remember as much as Jensen - which means nothing. But this unfinish sentence made Jensen believe that Jared was lying. But why? Did he... something to him? 

"I don't!" Jared stood up and started walking around bedroom. "I don't remember a single shit, Jensen, I told you. I meant after like when you were rude at Clif. And now answer my question, Jen! What's wrong? How can I help? You never drink in work, so it must be something horrible."

It was scaring Jensen that Jared knew him maybe better than he knew himself.

But how can he say - well, I just can't handle see you in pain, which you are not in, 'cause you're fucking  _actor_ and you're fucking _acting_ and I fucking know it, but it's still breaking my heart and I think that I'm starting to go little crazy about it. Oh, and your girlfriend is a manipulative bitch and she wants only your money and I don't know how to save you from that because you're not listening to me?Oh, and I love you, by the way.

That's right, he can't.

Jared was staring at him open-mouthed. God, he didn't say it loud, right? He didn't. But why was Jared staring at him like he went blue or something? 

"Jen?" asked Jared nervously. "Jen, you with me?" Jensen realized that he - thank Chuck - didn't say it loud, but he didn't answer either and was probably sitting and staring into nowhere, which could Jared made freak out. 

Jared sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hand on Jensen's knee. Jensen froze, because Jared's touch sound electrowaves through him, as always - they were touching _a lot_ , half because fans love it, half because Jared was extremly contact and hug person - but this time it was stronger, probably 'cause the hangover and his confused sences. He shook his hand off, and hit the wall with his back as he tried to get away from him. He tried to make clean in his head, but he couldn't and his missing memories didn't help it very much too. 

"Jen?" Jared leaned so close to him that Jensen could tell that his eyes were hazel today. Jensen's breath accelerated. Shit, why can't he handle simple thing like this? He learned how to stay calm and act casually when Jared hug him, or pat him on shoulder, or even smile at him. He was doing it last four years and he was doing it good. He was actror, after all. If he could act hate and fear, he could definitely act that he is not in love with Jared Padalecki.

Yeah. That's right. He is in love with Jared. And it's out.

He never told anyone - well, anyone except Chris - and he was not going to ever tell. Jared was straight, and that's it. There is no chance that Jared'll feel the same way and Jensen didn't want to ruin their relationship, so he was by his best friend's side as always, silently suffering. He was accepting all his girlfriends, but now with Gen... He-

"JENSEN?" Jared's worried voice brink Jensen back to present.

He had to stay focus. For Jared. Nothing was happening, he just had a hangover, he'll take pills and deal with it - and with Jared. "I'm..." he said, but he couldn't finish the sentence. He wasn't fine, at least for now. "Could you... could you bring me some pills?" pleaded Jensen and Jared was on his feet faster than Jensen thought was possible. Jared exactly knew where Jensen had his medications - in cupboard upon sink in bathroom, third shelf - and was right back. He was holding a white pillbottle, and Jensen accepted it with grateful smile as well as a glass of water. He swallowed the pill and drank the whole glass and they lay down, waiting fo pills to kick in. He calmed a little and tried to breath deeply. 

"Jensen... What was that? What happend? You have to talk to me, man!" Suddely he saw Jared's head in his field of vision. His hair was falling into his face ash he was leaning over Jensen. Jensen, without thinking, raised his hand and he put his hair behind his ear. "Better," he smiled, leaving Jared completly wordless. Jensen yawned. Pills always nacrotized him. 

"What were you saying? Right - it was nothing man. I just kinda freaked out I guess. It's the hangover, don't worry. And don't you dare do suggest a psychiatrist! That's right, I can see it on your face. I'm okay, really... Yesterday, it was something that'll never happen again. I promise." Jared seemed suprise that Jensen flipped all of that when he wasn't even reacting then. "Jen... But what happend?" he asked softly. "I won't call a psychiatrist with straitjacket, promise." But he could say that Jared was deeply worried. 

Jensen was alredy sleepy; the pills were kicking in really fast. He mumbled: "Nothing to talk about. I just couldn't..." "Couldn't what, Jen?" Jared asked urgently. 

"You were in pain... And then I saw that something was wrong with you, I couldn't find out what it was... And I thought you left me there 'cause of that Gen bitch..." he mumbled again, half asleep. "Pain? I wasn't in pain, Jen." How could Jared don't get it? Jensen wondered. He said it clearly, right? "You. In pain. I saw it. When we were filming. God, Jay, I'm so tired. Why I'm telling this to you anyway? I think I didn't want to bring it up." 

And then he remembered - he took pills, and when he did that, he was usually sleepy and... and talking instantly. Just like when he was drunk. Fuck. 

But he didn't have to care anymore, because he fall asleep, and didn't heard Jared's asnwer.

***

When Jensen woke up for the second time, he was alone in his bed. He felt light dissapointment. He again dreamed about Jared - Uh, no, that sounded really innapropriate; so, in his dream again appeard Jared. Better? He thought so. But this time his dream felt more realistic, like they were really together and he was... sad, he realized with suprise. He was just simply sad. 

Jensen got up from bed, did his morning routine - which include shower (cold this time), brushing teeths and this time trying to remember his night - and then noticed it was almost 12 o'clock. Shoudln't he call it noon routine then?

When he stood in living room, he noticed some paper at the desk. He picked it up - it was note from Jared.

_Jen,_

_I had to go. They called me to work - well, both of us but I told them you're sick, so stay home and for love of God don't go to work. But you'll, am I right?_

_We'll discuss later what happend, Jen. I can't just ignore it, man, no matter what you say. We need to talk._

_P.S. What did you mean that I was in pain?_

_Jared_

Oh God, what did Jensen told him? Why he just kept doing things and then forget them?

But Jared was right with one thing - he was surelly not staying at home.

***

Jensen had time to try orginize his thoughts during the drive, but wasn't really successful. He tried hard to remember last night, but there was just black notingness between end of work and morning. But he knew where he can get the answeres - Jared. So, he just gotta convince him to tell him what the fuck happend. Anyway, why was he lying in the first place? Did Jensen something really terrible and Jared didn't want him to remember? Or did he something to Jared?

Fuck, this unknowning was killing him. 

He thanked Clif when they were there and apologized for the milion time. Clif just waved his hand and Jensen left the car, but was feeling as well guilty as he stepped in. He was about to go find Jared, when he heard someone calling his name. He turned around and recognized Misha.

"Jensen, hi," said Misha as he came closer. "Hi," smiled Jensen and waved. Jensen knew Misha just a brief time - comparing to Jared for example - but he kinda liked this man. He was crazy the good way, funny, and Jensen felt good with him. He wasn't really sure how Jared felt abouth him, but noticed that he didn't really liked him. Jensen didn't know why; Misha was great. Hell, Jared became more and more unreadable lately.

"I heard you were sick. You okay now?" Jensen thought fast. "Yeah, I had a headache, but I think I'll live."

"Um, don't you know where is Jared? I need to talk to him," he asked and he could tell Misha's mood fall downa little. "Yeah, I think he is filming some Sam-Ruby scenes now." Well, now fall down Jensen's mood too. Great, Jared was with Genevieve - and Jensen wanted to avoid her if he could. 

"Hey man, don't you want to run some lines until our scenes?" asked Misha and took out from pocket some folded scripts. "Yeah, why not," smiled Jensen and gave the smaller man arm around shoulder. "So, what you have here?"

***

He was sitting at couch with Misha, laughing as they talked about random stuff absolutely forgetting their lines, when Jared brusted in his trailer. "Jen, I told you to stay-" The word  _home_ was left unspoken as Jared stopped talking immiediately when he saw Misha. "Uh, hi Misha," he said way more quietly. 

"Jared, hey!" Jensen stood up and wanted to pat him on shoulder, but Jared jerked. He fucking  _jerked_. Away from Jensen.

"I.. I-I'm sorry but I was feeling okay enough to go to work." Jensen withdrew his arm, little in shock. This was like punch in the face from Jared. "Jay, what's wrong?" He looked back at Misha still sitting at couch. "We were just running some lines, when we wasn't needed at scene. But you were with Gen, so you wasn't missing me so much, right?" he managed to smile at the end, but his heart was still clutching. 

How Jared looked at him told Jensen that he clearly heard that fake in his tone and how he pronounced  _Gen_. Like it was something dirty he didn't want in his mouth. "Well yeah, I was with Gen... Actually I should go find her - I left her when I heard you're here and we have some unfinish business. So, it was good to see you." And suddenly Jared was gone. 

"Dude, what the fuck is with him?" asked Misha in silence. Jensen just shrugged, still not sure what happend, but sure about one thing - Jared was okay until he nocited Misha. But why he jerked away from him?

It was... how could something so small make so much hurt? His friendship with Jared was the only thing he was allowed to have; his hugs was the only touches he got; he  _can't_ loose it. If that happens, Jensen wasn't sure how - or if - he'll able to live through it.

 

 


End file.
